Reflections !  

By Shushma Datt

"You will miss it when you won't have it" My mother use to say it to me.  She used to refer to anything she wanted us to do or have and we didn't. Is it true that we only appreciate something when we have lost it ?

We lived in a beautiful country for generations, When we left Kenya to go to England, i didn't for a minute think I would miss the beauty of Nairobi, the beaches of Mombasa, the mild weather, the exotic fruits, the carefree summers and the masti with friends........ I was eager to go to ENGLAND, the Queen's land, Maharani Elizabeth ka mulak. 

The excitement stayed at its peak as I got a job, made friends, enjoyed travelling in the "underground tubes", was independent, and overall it is here where we knew as much as mum and dad.  They were not the "know it alls".  In fact if anything, mum was slowly and gradually left behind by all of us as we were out and about and she was now homebound.  I think she missed Nairobi the most.  She was a very independent person in Nairobi.  She was mobile, she had her own real estate business and she knew the city inside out.  She was born there.  It was London, its cold, damp climate that took everything away from her.

She would talk about the summers in Nairobi, the beach house, her friends and I heard her say "you only appreciate something, when you have lost it". She lost my father and my two brothers there.

When we were leaving England to come to Canada, I was not at all ready to leave.  I loved the busy life of London, I loved my job, I loved the excitement, I loved the Beatles and the Rolling Stones.  From a very busy city like London, I came to the sleepy town of Vancouver.  I arrived in Vancouver in the evening....On our decent to the city I could make out that it was a small compared to London, Yet it looked spacious, the mountains and the ocean gave it a unique disposition. Sure the landscape was open, big and different, but it was not Nairobi !   NOT NAIROBI ?  I missed Nairobi for the very first time in 7 years.  What was it that made me miss Nairobi ? 

I realized I had time to reflect....the evergreen trees of Canada reminded me of the year around spring of Nairobi.....the coastline, though not as beautiful as Mombasa, reminded me of it.....the small hills within the city reminded me of the roads in Nairobi......and most of all,  it was the clear star filled sky in the summer nights that reminded me of the night sky in Nairobi.

Today after 28 years I am still missing a city of my birth, a country that I have not visited for 35 years.  I feel this dull pang will remain in my heart forever.  Will I ever visit my birthplace ? Maybe not.  The young memories of my city are untouched by time and the harshness of reality. I want these memories to remain young always.